For Our Learning pt. 1

Our parents lives (and by extension, those of our older siblings, aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc.) stand before us as an example of how to live and how not to live.

We see their wise choices and their good example and think, “I will do just as they have done.”

We see their parenting mistakes and think, “I will do better than that.”

We see their struggling marriage and think, “My marriage will never be like that!”

But is there really any guarantee that whatever is good about their lives will automatically pass on to us? That we will do just as they have done? That we will be as good as they are, as wise as they are, as successful as they are?

Is there any guarantee that we will automatically avoid whatever is not good about their lives? That we will not make the same poor choices? That we will not hurt our children in the same ways? That we will not have the same kind of empty, troubled marriage?

No. There is no “automatically” about it.

But it can happen if we are willing to really learn from what we see before us—both the good and the bad.

. . . to be continued.

Attitude

Me? Have a bad attitude? Surely not!

I'm afraid I do sometimes have a bad attitude. I wonder what the cause is? I mean, not the ultimate root cause--I know what the ultimate source of all evil was; I know that "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9).

But why do I personally sometimes have a bad attitude? Where does it come from? I think sometimes it is simply habit. I don't check my criticism, my negativism, my cynicism, my pessimism, my lack of faith, my self-defeating thoughts. They become so much a part of me that I do them without thinking and hardly even notice how distorted they are!

How unbecoming! Now if I could just do the same thing with compliments and kind words, positive thoughts, cheerfulness, optimism, faith, etc., wouldn't I be in good shape?

Wow!

Amazing must-read article!

http://www.crosswalk.com/news/weblogs/mohler/?adate=02/24/2006

Submissiveness

Definitely a "“vice" in the eyes of many people!

We know from the Bible that "“submission"” is not automatically a bad thing. Submissiveness--—or having an attitude of submission--would have to be a good thing too! Oooooohhhhh! This concept is so hard for some people to accept! But who ever said submission is easy?

Submissiveness can be either good or bad, a virtue or a vice. As a virtue it means things like:

Submission to God

Deference, courtesy, respect for other people, and an open heart toward them (Rom. 12:10; Eph 5:21)

Humility, and a willingness to admit error and to learn (1 Peter 5:5; Pro. 9:8,9).

A willingness to do things another person's way or to yield.

Respect for and appropriate submission to persons who have authority over you or preference before you in any way--—parents (Ex. 20:2), elders (Lev. 19:32, 1 Peter 5:5), church leaders (Heb. 13:17), government (Rom 13:1,7; 1 Peter 2:13,14), your own husband (Col. 3:18), employers (Col. 3:22).

An attitude of asking, requesting, and suggesting, rather than ordering, demanding, and informing. It is particularly important to do this toward people we a subject to, but it is an important courtesy toward anyone, even people who are subject to us.

Submissiveness as a vice means things like:

Such excessive deference that it becomes annoying to other people.

Humility and meekness to the point of being annoying, or to the point that you can't even graciously accept complements or gifts, or to the point that you deny the truth (by declaring that you really are not so talented, etc.).

Submissiveness to the point that it becomes permissiveness, allowing people to do things either around you or to you that they should not do. Allowing people to persuade you to do something you should not do.

Allowing another person (or a group of people, or an organization, etc.) officially or unnoficially to take over your mind.

Being so submissive (or submissive in the wrong setting) that you fail to have and maintain appropriate boundaries.

Failure to have opinions (beliefs, values, etc.) or to ever express them.

Failure to stick up for your rights (or someone else's) when you should

Obeying men rather than God. Submitting to any human being more than you submit to God.

Obeying or following the lead of someone other than whom is in authority over you, i.e. children giving into peer pressure rather than obeying your parents, wives submitting to the will of friends rather than to the will of her husband, etc.

Being a pushover (like Aaron Ex. 32:1-2).

Most Desirable Things

Forbearance

Faith

Fairness

Forgiveness

Friendliness

Beauty Prescription #2: A noble character

It shows--—and it is rather becoming.

Love, compassion . . . purity, the peace of God are visible in our eyes.

Our thoughts, and our character, are reflected by our faces.

It affects the way we walk, the way we talk, the things we do. It affects the way we dress, the way we take care of ourselves.

And how much better it looks than greedy eyes, a contempuous look, smirks and constant frowns, careless and vulgar speech, immodest attire, habits and manners that prove that darkness and selfishness and filth are all we have ever known.

Yucky things

Bitterness

Jealousy (in a negative sense)

Self-centeredness

Unfaithfulness

Virtues in action: Dressing

Modesty--—for obvious reasons!

Purity--Pure hearts, pure minds, pure motives, pure religion and undefiled (wording courtesy of James 1:27), will all affect the way we dress and will aid us in dressing in ways God can approve. They will also tend to "“purify"” the way we dress and make it more genuinely beautiful. Purity will root out gaudiness, excessive ornamentation, extravaganceance, and all ridiculouslous attire worn in the name of fashion. It will make our clothing comfortable and practical.

Orderliness--—our closets and other storage facilities should be well-organized so we can find what we need when we need it. Our bedrooms and bathrooms should be orderly to, because getting dressed or getting ready to go somewhere is always easier when you don't lose stuff among the piles of dirty clothes on the floor, trip over things and stub your toes, or have to move armfuls of stuff off the bathroom vanity top so you can set down your curling iron, etc. When we are orderly, we can not only keep our space neat and our stuff organized, but we can organize our time and tasks. Both of these are important in getting dressed and ready quickly (and with matching shoes!), as well as in taking the time to care for our clothing properly.

Neatness--it helps the same way orderliness does, but more importantly, our appearance should be neat. I'm at a loss as to how to describe the unkempt appearance I am imagining, so you will just have to use your own imagination!

Confidence--—so we look like we meant to wear what we are wearing instead of looking like we opened our closets and these clothes attacked us and held us hostage, and we would really rather not be wearing them. Sometimes I feel like I look like my clothes have taken me hostage!

Well, how are YOU doing?

Generosity

Godliness

Gratefulness

Goodness

Gentleness

Graciousness

Really?

Your Blogging Type is Confident and Insightful

You've got a ton of brain power, and you leverage it into brilliant blog. Both creative and logical, you come up with amazing ideas and insights. A total perfectionist, you find yourself revising and rewriting posts a lot of the time. You blog for yourself - and you don't care how popular (or unpopular) your blog is!

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Hahahaha! A ton of brain power! How do I access it???!!!


I have been told it is insightful (or something like that) but I'm not so sure about confident!

Virtues in action

Dishwashing and all that goes with it

Efficiency—I am such an innefficient dish washer and kitchen cleaner! It probably takes me twice as long as it needs to because I keep jumping around putting food away then cleaning out the sink, then loading the dishwasher, then drying dishes, then starting dishwater, then loading the dishwasher, then washing dishes, then putting food away, then drying dishes. Sigh. I think I learned this from living in a very cramped kitchen in which I HAD to go from job to job just to get it done—sort of a put-food-away-so-I-can-clean-out-the-sink-so-I-can-wash-some-dishes-so-
I'll-have-room-to-put-the-rest-of-the-food-away-so-I-can-wipe-off-the-counter
-so-I'll-have-a-place-to-put-dry-dishes-so-I-can-clean-out-the-dishdrainer-so
-I-can-wash-the-rest-of-the-dishes thing. We have a spacious kitchen now so it's time to adopt new practices!

Cleanliness—obviously! We don't want dishes with spots of food left on them. Or gunk around the sink faucet. Or crumbs of the countertop. So we need habits of cleanliness!

Carefulness—so we make sure everything is clean, everything gets done, nothing gets broken, and we don't make a swimming pool on the kitchen floor.

Thoroughness—every dish, every crumb, every drop of water around the sink. No stopping short!

L's

Longsuffering

Love

Loyalty

Loveliness

Virtues in Action!

It's time to get practical! Well, it's all practical, but it's time for our virtues to get their hands dirty. K? Or clean, as the case may be. In this case I think it must be a little of both, 'cause we're doing laundry!

These are some virtues I thought of that we need for the job of laundry (there are probably a lot more).

Perseverance--—for the never-ending nature of laundry.

Love--—You need a good dose of this when your family members neglect to pick up their dirty clothes, neglect to clean out their pockets (can you hear me growling here?), neglect to put their clean laundry away. . . and get clean and dirty clothes mixed up so you have to wash the clean ones again.

Patience--—And patience goes right along there with it!

Faithfulness--—Faithfulness has a lot to do with any chore, but especially with chores like laundry that tend to get neglected (and be disliked). Of all of the housekeepers I know, laundry is the most complained about chore! Alas, it must be done. Personally, I kind of like the chore, but it is a big job. I do my family's laundry and I try to be faithful with it (speaking of which . . . ).

Some ways NOT to make yourself available

1. Tell everybody that you are available.

2. Constantly make comments about your single status.

3. Complain because no one is paying any attention to you.

4. Be overly friendly to eligible men.

5. Associate with eligible men while avoiding or ignoring other people.

6. Chase men.

7. Make a practice of inviting eligible men to dinner or parties just to check them out.

8. Accept undue or inappropriate attentions from a man.

9. Talk too much.

10. Be pushy or insistent.

11. Be or act desperate.

12. Be too quick to jump into a relationship.

13. Lower your standards or otherwise accept whatever you can get.

14. Look at every eligible man as a potential husband (or date).

More of the same

I really need to write something else--—but I'm sooooo tired. How about some more virtues instead? :-)

Honesty

Humility

Hopefulness

Hospitality

It looks like we have a lot of work to do in the “I” department!

Fortunately I can already face most of these (implied questions) without wanting to crawl underneath the nearest piece of furniture.

Idleness

Idolatry

Immodesty

Immorality

Impatience

Impudence

Impulsiveness

Impurity

Indecision

Independence (in a negative sense)

Indiscretion

Indifference

Infidelity

Ingratitude

Intemperance

Intolerance

Irreverence

Some things to definitely consider getting rid of

Gloominess

Gossip

Greed

Grumpiness

What every woman needs to know about husbands

Three fundamental things every woman needs to know about husbands, in order of priority:

According to popular opinion:

1. How to get a husband

2. How to keep a husband

3. How to get rid of a husband

What's wrong with this picture?

I think it should be something more like this:

1. What to do with a husband

2. How to keep a husband

3. How to get a husband

I'm working on #1 so I'll be able to do #2 in case I ever have the opportunity to do #1! ;-)

Something to Think About

I wrote this a while back and thought I'd just post it, since I really need to be doing things other than writing this evening!

Have you met the Proverbs 31 woman? Are you her? Are you becoming her?

If you were married, could the heart of your husband safely trust in you? (Proverbs 31:11)

Would you do your husband good, and not evil, all the days of your life? (Proverbs 31:12)

Do you work willingly with your hands? (Proverbs 31:13).

Do you provide your household with good food (or assist your mother in doing so) and would you if you were married? (Proverbs 31:15)

Do you stretch out your hands to the poor and needy? (Proverbs 31:20)

Are you well-clothed and would your family be if you had one? (Proverbs 31:21, 22)

Do you open your mouth with wisdom? (Proverbs 31:26)

Is your tongue governed by the law of kindness? (Proverbs 31:26)

Do you look well to the ways of your household? Or do you "“eateth the bread of idleness"”? (Proverbs 31:27)

If you had children, do you think they would rise up and call you blessed? Would they have reason to? Would your husband praise you? Are you praiseworthy? (Proverbs 31:28)

Beauty Prescription #1

Beauty Prescription #1: Develop a personal, real relationship with God and let Him transform you

You know that our emotions are revealed in our faces and eyes. Did you know that our characters are also revealed in our faces and eyes? Our faces and eyes reveal sadness, anger, love, confusion, anxiety, joy, peace, hatred, happiness, contentment, pride, envy, humility, and so many other things. And the bad ones don't do much for our appearance! Now do you suppose these things have any connection with our spiritual life? Of course they do!

"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance . . ."” (Galations 5:22, 23).

While the Spirit of God is doing good things to us on the inside, those good things are serving as a free (hey, we're doing it anyway!) beauty treatment that doesn't cause cancer (even in California), won't harm the environment, and didn't require animal testing in its creation. It's applied from the inside out so there is no mess (usually), it has no physical substance so it takes absolutely no storage space, and it can be applied anytime, anywhere, while doing almost anything else.

I'd like to see the "“beauty industry"” try to beat that!

More Virtues

Empathy

Efficiency

Earnestness

Encouragement

A Beautiful Woman

Beauty, specifically the physical beauty of a woman, is a difficult topic. On the one hand, there are those who are too busy or careless to attain beauty, do not appreciate beauty, or even consider all beauty vain and sinful. On the other hand, are the much more common problems, which are twain:

1. The misunderstanding of what true beauty is

2. The misunderstanding of the value and place of beauty

Between the right hand and the left, is a beautiful woman.

A woman who is truly beautiful.

A woman who appreciates beauty as God designed it to be.

A woman who does not idolize beauty.

A woman who does not gauge her value by her beauty

A woman who does not expect or allow others to determine her value by her beauty.

A woman who does not gauge the value of other women by their beauty.

A woman who will not sacrifice principle for beauty.

A woman who will not sacrifice principle because of beauty.

A woman who will not use her beauty for selfish or evil purposes.

A woman one who does not place the value of physical beauty above the beauty of her heart, mind, character, and life.

C's to Contend with

Carelessness

Combativeness

Covetousness

Virtues for your hope chest

Some more Ds

Dignity

Diligence

Discretion

Virtues for your hope chest

More Cs

Contentment

Cleanliness

Courage

Chastity

Vices, anyone?

Do you have any of these vices? Think of them in their mild forms too (that's when it really gets you!).

Anger (in a negative sense)

Aggressiveness

Absent-mindedness

Arrogance

More Virtues

Three ABCs of getting along with other people?

Appreciation (being appreciative)

Benevolence

Compassion

Are you a virtuous woman?

If you have not been here recently, please read the previous post as this is a continuation of it.

Or, perhaps . . .

Deference

Discernment

Dependability

Are you a virtuous woman?

If you haven't been here recently, please read the previous post first.

What about . . .

Cheerfulness

Courtesy

Confidence

Are you a virtuous woman?

How much of these virtues do you have in your hope chest?

Assertiveness

Attentiveness

Awareness

Ah! Sweet Victory

I only wish I had more of it. But that's beside the point. This is about what I do have!

Did I mention that I finally decided what color to paint my bathroom? You know it took me longer to decide that than it took me to decide whether or not to go to college? Anyway, it's done. Whew! And the paint is on so I can't change my mind. Now for my bedroom . . . .

I am also working on putting the Christmas stuff away. Now, before you laugh, I must tell you that there are reasons that it's February and I still haven't done that. 1) I have a bad memory, I rarely spend much time in the rooms wherein such things were located, and I am often unobservant. Thus, I didn't think of it very often. 2) I wanted to do it right. You know, organized so we can actually find things when we need them. It has never been that way before. There were numerous boxes of miscellaneous stuff and it was hard to find things. I designated this year the year to get everything organized because now that we're in the house I have room and this was the first year we had all of the Christmas stuff together (although I honestly think there is another box hiding somewhere). 3) I need more storage containers so I can get my own stuff organized and I can't afford to buy many, so booting family stuff out of my personally owned plastic storage containers that have been housing Christmas stuff sounded like a great idea.

The good news is, the stuff is getting booted--at least as much as will fit in the large blue plastic tubs Mom and I retrieved out of storage. She emptied them of the old food they contained (think rancid flour and old pasta, not old refrigerator contents). I scrubbed them up. Progress is being made. I may still have to use some of my boxes. At least it will all be organized and away. Some of the stuff belongs to me personally anyway.

There is hope. :-)

The Hungry Beast

Lately my hope chest has been demanding more food (really politely requesting, but it seems like demanding to me). It's hungry, it says. It reminds me of this, smiling innocently while I inwardly cringe. But I do have an obligation--I brought the creature into existence.

And, what does it want? Action. Simple as that. Not so much, it says, the action of putting things into it, but of putting action itself into it. Sigh. How dare it. How dare it remind me of one of my worst faults. How dare it tell me what I need to hear.

I am really not a very active person. Well, to be honest (I think it would appreciate that too), I am simply not an active person. That is just the way I am: putting things off--sometimes for an understandable reason, sometimes out of mere habitual laziness--indecision, shrinking back in fear, avoiding everything, moving as little as possible.

The way I am is going to have to change. Not all at once with a big bang. That would be impossible. But the hungry beast must be fed, right? I've got to get moving, make some decisions, stop avoiding work, stop putting things off--if it kills me (and really, putting away the nail clippers that have been lying about for weeks on end mere inches from their home in a drawer, putting away the remainder of my Christmas gifts and carting the box they were in out of my bedroom, clearing the odd bits of thread and fabric from a recent sewing project off my sewing table, and all the other little treats I gave the beast this afternoon were really quite painless).

Wish me well. I'm off to do something. Decide something. Anything (though I'm sure my hope chest does have some very specific tastes--I'll let you know if I find out what they are).

--Your rebuked and slightly worried Hopeful.