Fear of the Needle . . . and Thread

Sewing is supposed to be fun. It scares me. When I think about it I start breathing hard. Whenever I see a needle I nearly faint. I have nightmares about encounters with my sewing machine.

Okay, it really doesn't scare me quite that badly. I admit I made the last three sentences up. But I do fear it. I can just never seem to quite conquer it.

I have no clue why except that:

I'm a fearful person.
I fear failure
I fear frustration
I fear difficult learning tasks

And I'm a perfectionist.
It has to be perfect
The first time
And if it can't be perfect then I'm not even going to try

I have to laugh at myself, because, of course, that is a perfect explanation of my problem. I have no need to continue wondering why I fear sewing. Now, what to do about it.

I am not very good at it yet--not much practice--so therein lies the frustration. Lots of new things to try to comprehend. I also lack supplies and the money to buy them.

I have this fabric but no thread to match it, that idea but no pattern, another project I can do without a pattern and with the thread and fabric I have, but I need another kind of needle. (Okay, I do have some money but I fear I will buy the wrong thing or won't be able to finish a project once I have bought the stuff and will thus waste money.) Such a dreadful state of affairs, and I'm sure my entire problem is just a lack of money.

Yeah right. When I took sewing in college ( I got an A or A-, which is clear evidence that I don't have a clue what I'm doing, right?), a lady who could already sew took the class just for easy credit. She was past "college-age" and had been sewing for many years. She showed us some pictures of things she had made. She told us about her first sewing project too, when she was a little girl: she made a skirt out of an old umbrella!

I guess what I really need is some creativity and a good sense of adventure. I had some creativity around here somewhere, but I have looked under every book, between all papers, in every box, and under every piece of furniture, and I have not found one sense of adventure, good or otherwise. What shall I do? I don't have any old umbrellas from which to make skirts!

I guess what I need to do is get the right kind of needle to finish my terry-cloth apron I am making out of an old towel. Except that I don't know what kind of needle to get. I'll have to research that. Thoroughly. Next week. And then compare prices to make sure I'm getting the best deal. And then reevaluate to make sure that is really the project I want to finish next. And then double-check to make sure my research findings were accurate.

See? I face my fears squarely, don't I?